Many pastors and spiritual mentors in the church want to love Christians who struggle with homosexuality.
Since Evangelicals love the Bible and put a lot of emphasis on the importance of individual scripture reading, Christians get lost when they find out the Bible isn't fixing the problem of "The Christian who struggles with homosexuality." There is the crying high school student who confesses he likes men, the college student who is trying to decide his theology about homosexuality, the adult man that leaves his wife and family for another man, the many young adults engaging in gay promiscuous sex, the list goes on and on.
But why isn't the Bible fixing this?
Why isn't the Scriptures curing Christians who struggle with homosexuality?
Why isn't God fixing this issue?
In the Evangelical Church, people feel they lost the battle for marriage (because, apparently, it was a war or something) and are waiting for God to come and save them since this issue isn't getting any better.
It is the "End of days because of the gays."
High schoolers and young adults are coming out as gay, and many young people support gay relationships now.
And since Evangelicals really love the scriptures, we turn to it……
…But when we do,
does anything happen?
Does reading scripture meet the needs of that struggling Christian who wants to figure out how to serve God with this very complex attraction towards the same sex?
Does reading scripture give them the cure to stop liking the same sex? Does the Bible help provide an excellent psychological understanding of the difference between same-sex lust and same-sex attraction?
Does the Bible give the emotional affirmation a human needs to hear from another human so they can know they belong and are valuable?
Does reading about sin in the Bible suddenly cause enough fear in a Christian's life to not feel their feelings of lust for the same sex?
Does the Bible give someone the long brotherly hug a fellow Christian can give to someone who needs a hug?
Does the Bible give a shoulder to cry on when a Christian attracted to the same sex and struggles with same-sex lust feels the deep pain of loneliness and isolation, and shame?
Does the Bible give the long-term companionship every human needs, especially for a Christian who struggles with same-sex lust?
Does the Bible meet the intimate (not sexual, just primary human care, love, and knowing) needs of a Christian who struggles with homosexuality?
I once asked someone what they would do if a friend or fellow Christian told them they struggled with homosexuality. He said he would tell them to go to God, ask him for guidance, and encourage him to read the scriptures to know he is loved.
When I heard that, I felt sad. We failed.
He didn't understand that he was God's hands and feet. He didn't understand he was the answered prayer that many Christians who struggle with homosexuality are praying for, a friend.
The warm intentional affection of a Christian brother can go deeper than a passionate moment of sex or a feel-good time of prayer with God.
We forget that God said it wasn't good for man to be alone.
Humans were never made to be alone with God.
Why are Christians then pushing for much "individual time with God?"
Understanding that God meets our needs has a bigger and more profound meaning than just reading the Bible and praying alone.
Most Christians who struggle with homosexuality are not disconnected from God, if anything they are Christians I know that pray the most to God, cry the most to God, yell the most to God, cuss out God the most, and sit with God the most. How do I know that?
Well, we are alone a lot. Christians just don't know if God likes them or accepts them because they are asking if the church accepts them and they have to deal with all the shame the church has placed on this specific fallenness. And the idea of acceptance, care, love, and human well-being is demonstrated by their needs being met.
The affectionate act of a hug, a touch on the shoulder, a written letter, a homemade dinner, a surprise party, a time of vulnerability and emotional affirmation can bring the NEW KINGDOM of Christ into the heart of a Christian who is asking God,
"How can I be loved by you and by men?"
The affectionate friend can go deep within another friend and explain that they are loved, liked, and valued.
An affectionate friend can sit with a Christian who is attracted to the same sex and say,
"I am not afraid of you."
"I want to know you."
"Can I give you a hug?"
"Here is a letter I wrote to you."
"Come over for dinner."
"Stay the night at my house."
"Sit on the couch and watch a movie with me."
"How can I meet your needs right now?"
"Tell me about your attraction towards the same sex."
"Talk to me about your dreams and wants."
"Tell me how you feel towards God."
"I have a big bed. Come share it with me."
"Let's go camping."
"Let's get coffee."
"Let's spend time together."
"Don't give into sin."
"You can call me or text me whenever you want."
"I will be there for you."
"Can you talk? I have been struggling with sin."
"Let me be a part of your life."
"You are a guy, and I will treat you like all my other guy friends."
"let's go change in the locker room."
"Let's hit the showers."
"Let's pray together."
"Move in with me."
"Move in with my wife and me."
"Let me move in with you."
"Let me give you the TOUCH you need."
"Let me give you the TIME you need."
"Let me give you the Transparency you need."
"Let's be a TEAM."
The Bible cannot say or do what God's hands and feet can do.
So it makes sense why the Bible isn't fixing this. That isn't the purpose of it.
The church is supposed to fix it, and it can. The solution to loving someone who struggles with homosexuality is simple: include them in your life and be committed to them. Meet their physical needs, even if, at times, it might make you uncomfortable. Meet their spiritual needs, and meet their emotional needs. They are human.
And don't forget, the Christian who struggles with homosexuality will be hurting. Still, they can also love and meet the needs of another fellow Christian.
The standards Jesus has on them to love others still apply.
The church can love Christians who struggle with homosexuality the way Jesus loved the church.
And Christians who struggle with homosexuality can love their same-sex friends and the church the way Christ loved it.