Yesterday was National Coming Out Day.
I'm unsure if Christians even realized it because of the Presidential Facebook craziness on social media.
Individuals who identify as gay have expressed their pride in publicly disclosing their sexual orientation and being open about their attraction to people of the same gender. They hold favorable views of same-sex relationships and desire to engage in them.
I see it a little differently. I see men and women announcing to their communities that they need to be loved by same-sex humans and their friends.
Now when I hear someone say, "I am gay." What I really hear is the heart saying,
"I need the love of another human that is the same sex as I am."
How do Christians hear it, though?
Do they only hear this?
"They just want to have sex with the same sex."
"They are just horny sinful humans."
"They are not saying no to their sinful lust and perversion."
As I hear more and more gay-affirming folks share their story, they all have one thing in common. There was a point where they felt utterly hopeless and thought they would kill themselves because they felt disconnected from the Church, their friends, their family, and GOD.
"What is the point of living if I can't be loved, liked, pursued, known?"
Most GAY Christians have a question to deal with before they tell people they are GAY.
Is being in a same-sex relationship sinful or not?
Once they decide it is not sinful, they announce to their community they are GAY!
Through that announcement, they feel they can be themselves, they are more open to being loved by the same sex, especially in a romantic way, and they find a Christian community that affirms that belief.
A significant number of Christians find themselves in a state of internal turmoil as they grapple with the decision to reveal their attraction to people of the same sex. They fear being rejected by their close friends due to the stigma attached to homosexuality, causing them to feel like they're hiding a part of themselves. Some may choose to keep this a secret, fearing unfair judgment and treatment because they struggle with this. Even those who eventually confide in fellow Christians may not always receive the acceptance and support they hunger for, worsening their isolation and despair.
Imagine a pastor or friend talking about how perverse and sinful and lustful and evil “the gays'“ are and then having to go to them to be cared for and get deep needs met, like touch and time from them.
Would you go to them for that love?
I believe National Coming Out Day is important for many Christians who are attracted to the same sex.
They constantly ask themselves, "What am I supposed to do with my attraction and a deep longing to be loved by the same sex through touch, time, transparency, and Teamwork."
"What if my friends find out I am attracted to them? Would they still like me? Would they hang out with me? Would they treat me differently? Would they think I am always lusting after them because they always lust after girls?"
Am I Just going to be alone for the rest of my life?
When someone says, "They struggle with homosexuality," especially if it is their first time, they are doing one of the most courageous actions a human can do these days in a Church.
The intense opposition to gay marriage by many Christians has created an environment of hostility towards the LGBTQ+ community, perpetuating homophobia. This divide has led to an atmosphere where individuals who are struggling with homosexuality and keeping to the correct sexual ethics of Jesus and desire to confide in other Christians may feel discouraged from doing so. They may perceive this tension as a warning sign and decide to keep their feelings and struggles a secret to avoid causing any upset or being mistreated by their close friends. This secrecy may weigh heavily on them, leading to isolation, alienation, and suicide. (By the way, they have been dealing with this since childhood)
But we all know that is unhealthy.
It is painful.
It causes death.
People commit suicide over this stuff.
If you struggle with homosexuality, I encourage you to share this critical part of your life with a trustworthy friend, family member, pastor, etc.
I know it can be terrifying, but it is so worth it.
You don't need to "COME OUT."
Find someone and have coffee with them. Write a letter. Explain your feelings, pain, and fear.
We all need to be loved and taken care of. Surprisingly straight people need to be loved as well. They have deep sinful, painful secrets of their own.
We need to be more transparent with each other. We must share our insecurities, sinfulness, goals, ideas of pursuing God's Kingdom, etc.
If you are married, don't buy into the lie your spouse is the only person you need to depend on. That is a hazardous relationship.
You need to come out too!
You also need to be loved by people of the Same Sex.
You also need the 4 T's.
You need Touch by people of the same sex. (hugs, long hugs, hugs again, kisses, etc.)
You need Time with people of the same sex. ( you need to be invested in by others, not just your wife)
You need to be Transparent with people of the same sex because they can call your crap out.
You need to be in a Team because marriage and dating relationships are not what you are called to be as a Christian. You are called to engage in your eternal covenant with your Church family.
If you are straight
YOU NEED TO COME OUT and say,
"I need to be loved by the Church."
"I need to be known by the Church."
"I need to be cared for by those of the same sex at Church."
"Just like my brothers and sisters who struggle with homosexuality, I too need to be loved by my same-sex Christian family the way Christ loves the Church."
"I'm coming out!"